Summary of People Skills chapter 1 and 2

In the first chapter of the people skills  i was able to learn many things. Firstly communication is the paramount thing in our life. It is indisputable that having a communication is omnipresent and takes place every day. So if we failed to have the successful communication, it is obvious that we will go through many problems.

Secondly , when it comes to the problems which can be caused by ineffectiveness, there is the interpersonal gap between people. And this gap can cause vocational  incompetence and dissatisfaction. And this kind of gap incur ache of loneliness.

Thirdly, it is crucial to have successful communication in order to have successful relationship. For instance, when we get married or work,  it is vital to communicate with one another to resolve the conflict or understand each other. Thus, it is the key to have the successful communication in order to maintain amicable relationship

Lastly, by having the successful communication, we can change ourselves. If we have the successful communication, there is the good chance that you will learn something from the other person. by having this process you will change and be able to manage the resistance of learning not being conservative.

In the second chapter i could know the barriers to communication. without realizing it, people typically inject communication barriers into their conversations. There are two barriers which take place frequently. First one is the reponses whose impact on communication is frequently negative.  and the secondly people frequently diminish the other’s self-esteem. If this kind of barriers keep happening in communication, it is inevitable to cause the negative result such as having permanent damage to a relationship.

There are three types of high risk responses. First one is the judging such as criticizing , diagnosing and praising evaluatively. And second one is called sending solution like ordering , threatening, moralizing and excessive or inappropriate questioning . And third one is avoiding the other’s concern such as diverting, logical argument and reassuring.

After knowing the many roadblocks in communication, i realized that i am inclined to use this kind of roadblocks while i have communication with other people to mock them or to make fun of them. But thankfully as long as i use these roadblocks sometimes, it doesn’t harm the relationship.

In conclusion i could learn that the certain ways of verbalizing can harm the relationship severely and trigger feelings of inadequacy and anger. So from now on , i should be aware that i can use this roadblocks easily without knowing. And I need to be careful that  trivial thing can ruin whole relationship and try hard not to use these roadblocks which are referred to in this chapter.